5 Signs You Might Be Trauma Bonded, Not in Love

Have you ever felt strangely attached to someone, even though they cause you pain? Maybe you constantly find yourself making excuses for their bad behavior or feel an intense fear of losing them, despite the negativity in the relationship. If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing trauma bonding, not love.

Trauma Bond vs True Love

Love and trauma bonding can feel very similar at first. Both involve intense emotions and a strong connection. However, there are some key differences. Here are 5 concrete signs you might be stuck in a trauma bond, not a loving relationship:

1. You Walk on Eggshells

In a healthy relationship, you feel comfortable expressing yourself freely. However, with a trauma bond, you might constantly worry about saying or doing the wrong thing, fearing your partner’s anger or withdrawal. This constant anxiety creates a tense and stressful environment.

2. You Excuse Their Bad Behavior

Do you find yourself constantly justifying your partner’s hurtful actions? Maybe you convince yourself they didn’t mean it, or that their bad behavior is your fault. In a healthy relationship, you hold each other accountable and respect boundaries.

3. You Feel Dependent and Obsessed

Trauma bonds can create an unhealthy dependence. You might feel lost or incomplete without your partner, even if they bring negativity into your life. This obsession can make it hard to focus on yourself or maintain healthy relationships with others.

4. The Cycle of Push and Pull

Trauma bonds often involve a confusing cycle of hot and cold. Your partner might shower you with affection one moment, then become distant or critical the next. This emotional roller coaster keeps you hooked, hoping to recapture the good times.

5. You Feel Isolated and Drained

Healthy relationships uplift and support you. But a trauma bond can leave you feeling emotionally drained and isolated. You might withdraw from friends and family, focusing all your energy on the relationship, even if it’s unhealthy.

William is a versatile writer blending a passion for storytelling with a keen eye for detail. His articles span topics from technology to literature. Follow his journey through the written word on his blog.

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